Changed

From the outskirts of the town // Where of old the mile-stone stood,

Now a stranger, looking down // I behold the shadowy crown // Of the dark and haunted wood.

Is it changed, or am I changed? // Ah! the oaks are fresh and green,

But the friends with whom I ranged // Through their thickets are estranged // By the years that intervene.

Bright as ever flows the sea, // Bright as ever shines the sun,

But alas! they seem to me // Not the sun that used to be, // Not the tides that used to run.

"dreams, truth pills, complications and expectations"

You're wondering why I no longer spend time with you. You ask them why I prefer the company of others more than you. Are you so numb and insensitive that you just don't get it? It's your biting remarks that turn me off. It's your speeches, your words that chip off what little self esteem people around you have. You don't have a muzzle for your mouth whenever you're angry or whenever you simply want to voice out your opinions. You don't think before you speak. You effortlessly spout these degrading comments so smoothly with no apologies. You inflict pain against others so easily that it's hard not to wonder whether you're enjoying making others harbor deep resentment against you. Maybe you do. Maybe you don't. I just don't care anymore. I'm tired. I'm simply tired of you.


I dream about you often these past days. I think of you a lot too, wondering why it's your face that I see when I close my eyes, like your face has been tattooed in the back of my eyelids. I don't know why I jump from my seat when my phone rings, hoping that it's you. I wish I don't, but I do. I want to will these anxious feelings away and distance myself from you. But I can't.

Hook, line and sinker. Damn you.


NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, OH SO CONCEITED ONE. People change, pick up things, adapt unconsciously and IT IS NOT BECAUSE OF YOU! When will your ALL-ABOUT-ME-messed-up brain process this? You think our own little worlds revolve around you. Hell-o. Newsflash, NO THEY DON'T. GET A GRIP. You're such a kid. Grow the hell up.


You make me uncomfortable in more ways than one. Don't make things more complicated than how things already are. Yes, I'll miss you. Like how I'll miss surfing the internet when pldt servers are down. Like how I'll miss using my cellphone when the battery is out. Like how I'll miss my tv shows when they're on hiatus. You've been a part of the people I am used to seeing, talking to and spending time with. But that's just it. I'll miss you, but you're not a person I couldn't live without. I won't apologize for being someone who I am not. Someone you expect and want me to be.