Changed

From the outskirts of the town // Where of old the mile-stone stood,

Now a stranger, looking down // I behold the shadowy crown // Of the dark and haunted wood.

Is it changed, or am I changed? // Ah! the oaks are fresh and green,

But the friends with whom I ranged // Through their thickets are estranged // By the years that intervene.

Bright as ever flows the sea, // Bright as ever shines the sun,

But alas! they seem to me // Not the sun that used to be, // Not the tides that used to run.

in some bizarre way...

I have things to say to certain people... Yes, I am completely not myself for me to write these things. Call it an impulse post without thinking, blinking, batting an eyelash.

I don't know why, but I surely miss you. In some odd, bizarre, weird, unexplainable twist of fate, I find myself thinking about our old conversations however how childish or pretentious they were. I always knew... but I always evaded the most serious of topics that involved feelings. I was rather brilliant at it, agree? I have to give you credit for being patient with my antics. You held on. Just not enough because there came a time when enough's enough. I most certainly cannot blame you. I hope that you could put this behind you. If only.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You certainly surprise me. My full attention have been focused elsewhere that is why for the past years, I have failed to notice that you, in fact, do honestly care about me. You make me feel needed, important, loved and accepted. Certainly the feelings I want to feel from others. I am grateful because now I am sure that in the long run, our friendship could even rival that of what I have with the others.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sometimes I wish that you would treat me like how I treat you. Honestly though, I don't know how long I will make excuses for your actions. Yes, they do tell me otherwise because they do not know the whole story, every bit of detail where you have acted the complete opposite of what they think you're acting. There are days that I honestly want to detach and make you feel how you made me feel. But then again, I realized that you don't freaking care so what's the point?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I want to be angry at you. Really, I do. I want to snap at you. I want to yell at you. I want to hate you. But I just can't. I don't know why but everytime I look at you I feel remorse, pity and regret. I know you're lonely. I know you're living in deep shit. I know that you regret everything you did. I know you and simply because of that, I cannot completely walk away. So here I am, walking back.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Get out of that shit hole you have dug for yourself! Seriously, you have wasted your time and money. Snap out of it! Get a grip on reality! Step out from your comfort zone and start living life! Gah. You're such a coward.